From Indrani's Desk



ARE you happy? This question is a significant part of all my therapy sessions. One’s response to this reveals much about her/his state of mind, thoughts, experiences and expectations.

Now, imagine yourself being asked the same. What would be your response ?

For Raji, happiness was something she saw in movies or read in storybooks. She declined to accept its existence in real life. The only emotion she ever experienced was bitterness. Raji constantly struggled with her relationships, her work and her health. There were so many things, though, that she wished to experience and accomplish. But neither could she manage time for these nor could she decipher how the people around her would react to her wishes. Hence, for her, life just dragged along.

For most of us life just goes on. We want happiness but we are clueless about the path to follow in order to achieve it. To achieve something we need to understand what it actually is. The same goes for happiness.

What is Happiness? Happiness has a different meaning for each one of us. It's a state of mind. We covet it and keep scouting for it all through our lives, but in vain. We look for it everywhere, but within ourselves, where we can actually find it, hidden under our emotional clutter, shackled by our inhibitions. We can be happy by making a few changes in the way we think. The most important change is “to decide to be happy, no matter what ! “


1.Cherish being you.Accept yourself just the way you are. Look into the mirror and appreciate every part of you. Your eyes, your hair, teeth and chin, your smile, the dreams in your eyes…. Every single thing about you is unique. Trust yourself. Believe you can. Love yourself. Cherish being you, inspite of all your imperfections, because… your imperfection is another person’s perfection. Remember… you were born to be real, not to be perfect.

2.Count your blessings and be grateful. Think of the many small things that life keeps tossing our way every now and then, and we keep taking these for granted. We are so blinded by the monotony of everyday life that we fail to perceive them as blessings. A bright sunny day, a call from a friend, spending time with our children, seeing our parents happy and healthy, having a hot cup of coffee, enough money on us to pay for it, the sunset in the horizon, a home to get back to, a warm bed for tucking ourselves in at the end of the day… These are things we take for granted while there are so many around the world for whom it is only a dream! Are these not reasons enough to be happy and grateful? Counting our blessing and being grateful for them makes us happy. Being grateful is wonderful, but it should never be confused with complacence. Trying harder and taking a risk when you could achieve more should be a daily routine.

3.Self dependence is a major prerequisite to happiness. Independence is necessary for having dreams and chasing them. But even before that comes “self dependence”. One should be self reliant, both financially and emotionally, in order to chose the right path for progress. A dependent person might have the best of intentions, but achievement and success might prove to be a far cry. Self dependence gives us the confidence to chose and pursue as well as the ability to achieve.

4. Live your life unapologetically. We all grow up with values and dreams instilled in us by our family and society. But with time and experience we realise that our dreams might be different from what others have taught us. Realising our own dreams is our responsibility and we should work hard to achieve them. Never should we apologise for either having a dream or for making an effort to realise them.



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